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Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James having a full head of hair again proves that wealth has officially cured baldness

I'm happy for LeBron because... there's a certain level of wealth/fame that if you can't figure out your hair, no one else has a shot in life. So LeBron is the perfect case where... you have to know that baldness has been cured by some level of wealth. This is the whole reason why people aspire to have wealth is so that they don't go bald.

While LeBron did undergo treatments to restore his hair, the claim that baldness is universally 'cured' by wealth is comedic hyperbole.

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Jun 19, 2019·This League
#11998
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James Harden and Chris Paul hate each other because the Warriors drove them insane

These two guys are very outstanding basketball players... but they develop these little nitpicky things that they have to go at each other by because they're just not good enough to beat the Warriors. So now all of a sudden they fucking hate each other because the Warriors have just driven them insane.

Reporting from the time confirmed a major rift between the two players, leading to Paul being traded that offseason.
Win
Jun 19, 2019
#11999
Big CatBig Cat

Roy Williams has been a better coach than Coach K since arriving at North Carolina

Roy Williams has won more since he's been at UNC over Coach K. So I don't know what they [Duke] do.

Since Roy Williams arrived at UNC in 2003, he won three national championships (2005, 2009, 2017) compared to Coach K's two (2010, 2015) in that same window.
Win
Jun 19, 2019·This League
#12000
Big CatBig Cat

Kawhi Leonard is definitely leaving the Toronto Raptors

Doing a parade which looked awesome... and then continually answering questions when people say, like, 'What does this mean to Toronto?' and [Kawhi Leonard] is like, 'Well, it's something they can build on.' Why don't you ask someone who's lived in Toronto for more than four months? It doesn't feel like he's staying.

Kawhi Leonard signed with the Los Angeles Clippers shortly after this episode aired.

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Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
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Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
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American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.