The Capitals made a massive mistake not re-signing Stanley Cup-winning coach Barry Trotz

The fact that the Capitals didn't re-sign their Stanley Cup winning coach after he won a Stanley Cup is still so fucking crazy to me. I know there's money and all that stuff, but how do you win a cup and not bring that guy back? ... He's a fun coach. He's a player's coach and once it gets to the playoffs, it's all about just making your team comfortable. Todd Reirden is not that guy.

This is the easiest sports letdown of all time because fans can't attend games or have parades anyway

This is the easiest letdown of all time because you can play that game in your mind like, 'What's the point of even winning a cup if you can't go to games or go to the bars with your friends?' ... If your team loses, just enjoy the fact that this will be the easiest letdown of all time that we will ever have as fans.

The Lakers are going to destroy the Blazers in five games

The Lakers are going to fuck the Blazers up. Put it up, put it right down, quote it. Five games. Maybe [four]. ... The Blazers play pickup basketball. They do not play defense. And they play against the Lakers. I think the Lakers just need to get three consecutive stops and the game's over.

UNC is one of the true blue blood jobs in college basketball

This is a job that doesn't come open very often. And it is a true blue blood job... It is the logo of a team that's won a ton of national titles and a ton of Final Fours. It is literally one of the blue bloods.

The Cubs are the second best team in the NL and will reach the NLCS

I think the Cubs are gonna be really fucking good. I think they're the second best team in the NL so I guess my expectations might be a little too high, but I think they're gonna be really, really good. I think they should definitely win the NL Central and be in the NLCS.

Being the designated TV remote guy at a bar is a 10 out of 10 job

Had dinner at a local establishment last night and was informed that someone on staff was the designated TV remote guy to switch between games. No bartending, no waiting tables, just ball. 10 out of 10 job. You don't do this job without immense pride. It's the best job ever.