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Big CatBig Cat

Nick Saban will shiv and gut Jim Harbaugh to win football games

I have a feeling Jim Harbaugh thinks that this is like a fight that can just be played out on the field. And then next thing you know, Nick Saban's going to shiv him in to the side and gut him to death. But literally. Nick Saban will stab a man if it means winning more football games.

This is a metaphorical opinion about character; Saban never actually committed a crime against Harbaugh.

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Loss
Jun 1, 2016
#9134
Big CatBig Cat

I hope Nyquist the horse dies because his Twitter account is run by a nerd

I now am fascinated with Nyquist the horse... I hope Nyquist dies. I'll say it. Biggest piece of shit horse. And you know what, Nyquist? That's your horse owner's fault for running a shitty Twitter account. I wouldn't have wished death on you if you just had a semi-normal person running her Twitter account.

The horse Nyquist did not die in 2016 (he is still alive as of 2024).
Loss
Jun 1, 2016
#9136
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Gorillas are more valuable than humans because they are the patriarch of human invention

Technically humans, all those things that are invented by humans, humans are invented by gorillas, right? Like evolution. So wouldn't you say that gorillas are more valuable than humans? They're the patriarch of all those things. They're basically God.

This is a philosophical and biological misunderstanding framed as satire; humans and gorillas share a common ancestor but humans did not evolve from modern gorillas.
Void
Jun 1, 2016
#9140
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Riley Curry has to go

One thing I will say, I do agree with Big Cat, that Riley Curry, she's got to go. I'm done with Riley Curry.

Riley Curry eventually stepped out of the constant post-game press conference spotlight as she grew older.

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Big CatBig Cat

The Vikings officially have a Kyler Murray problem

I think we can officially say they have a Kyler Murray problem. Justin Jefferson has reached his point where he's like, 'What the fuck is going on?' So that would be my point. Maybe there's a Kyler Murray issue.

Whether Minnesota had a significant Kyler Murray problem is an evaluative football judgment rather than a definitively resolvable fact.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

The Vikings should trade for Kirk Cousins

What if I told you the Vikings could trade for a quarterback that has 18 touchdown passes and a rushing touchdown? Would that be something you think you'd be interested in if you were a Minnesota Viking fan? Kirk Cousins.

Whether Kirk Cousins was traded to Minnesota during the 2026 season is not established by the transcript or reliably known here.
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Big CatBig Cat

Jalen Warren is a top-five running back

Jalen Warren is the top five running back this year. And it's like watching him play, that changes what I think about the Steelers.

Top-five running back status is ultimately a subjective ranking that cannot be definitively resolved.