Football is inherently violent and trying to make it safe is a contradiction

And the fact that they've tried to change the rules means that they've conditioned us to think that football can be safe. And football is just not going to be safe. That's why it's an alpha males game.

Ben McAdoo changing his hair from the goofy cut to the slick-back style caused his demise with the Giants

I would have liked to see year three Ben McAdoo's hair because he went from the goofy haircut that we all made fun of to the slick back like Joe Cool, Ryan Grigson flip phone hair, which is partly why he had his demise, because he changed his hair.

I am giving up masturbation to get an edge for my upcoming fight

I've decided to give up masturbation. So for those who don't know, Hank is actually fighting. It's a real fight, Rough N Rowdy. December 15th. I need every edge I can get.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.