The Blue Jays will win the World Series

The cup is in the building for the Blue Jays... the pointy little flags [are] in Canada... they can win the World Series. The Toronto Blue Jays... what a story. Trey Yesavage is unbelievable... this guy is insane. It's great.

Mike McDaniel and Tua Tagovailoa should both be fired after the Dolphins' horrific loss

And Mike McDaniel you fired... it looked bad... they're just the most bad vibes team out there. The Dolphins have to just fire everyone. Start fresh... McDaniel will probably be fired and Tua will probably be fired... paid and fired.

I am officially declaring the Ravens as the winners of the AFC North

The Ravens are, they're gonna win the AFC North. We should congratulate them. They're gonna win the AFC North... THE RAVENS ARE BACK. They're gonna win it. Even if they split the Steelers, they'll beat the Browns and Bengals twice. They're gonna be fine.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.