MLB pitch velocity will decrease by 0.02 mph this year due to the new shot clock rules

This guy Corky knows his shit. He is projecting right now an average decrease in pitch velocity this year of 0.02 miles per hour. Whoa. Because the new shot clock rules. So yeah, keep that in the back pocket. We're gonna see slower fastballs this year.

Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from his cat, which is why he's messing up player names

Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from living with his cat. Oh. That's why he's messing up names. But I mean, is it really a mess up? Because Chaz Chisholm [Jazz Chisholm] is just a Hall of fame name.

I would rather be a grumpy, triggered sports fan after a loss than be numb to it

I absolutely let my team's success dictate my mood. I was very upset, grumpy, mad... people should be applauding the fact that I'm a grumpy triggered bitch after my teams lose. Because I could easily just remove myself... but I don't. You'd rather care way too much than be completely numb to it.

Paddy the Baddy is the next star of the UFC

Paddy the Baddy was electric. Paddy the Baddy is the next star of the UFC.

I bet LeBron James will announce his next team on Thursday using a golf ball gender reveal format

I think it's going to be like a gender reveal, but with a golf ball. And he's gonna hit the golf ball and it's gonna be the Cavs colors... Burgundy. Do it, do it Thursday. LeBron.

Andy Reid on a horse is a massive Mount Rushmore miss

Andy Reid should have been a pick. The more, just think about it, the more Andy Reid on a horse... that is so fucking funny.