The government has already won the spying game because everyone willingly put Alexa listening devices in their homes
Big Brother, you thought that the government was going to start putting robots in our houses. They just flipped the script and they're like, everyone has to go buy those stupid Alexa things. And they willingly put it in their house. And now we've been spied on. And now it's over. If you buy an Alexa, you're done. It has your credit card information. You're done.
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View episodeThe Dodgers have already won the World Series after the trade deadline
The winners and losers of the trade deadline, the Dodgers have won it all. Just give them the trophy right now. You get Yu Darvish. Yeah.
Colin Kaepernick isn't being signed because his vegan diet makes him physically weak
I think that the reason [Kaepernick] is not being signed is because he's not taking care of his body. He's made up of plant proteins. Not animal proteins, and he's just not as... resilient. I've never seen a plant win a fight.
Butts are on the Hot Seat because boobs are back in style
My hot seat is butts. Big hot seat because New York Post... they just wrote a trend piece about how boobs are back. So going to put butts square on the hot seat. Guess what? You thought it was cool to have a big butt? Everyone that went out there and got butt implants, you might want to see if those go two ways and you can just move them up to your chest.
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View profileThe Giants will make the playoffs
In the NFC I have ... the Rams. And then my wild card teams are the Seahawks, the Lions and Cowboys, the New York Giants.
The Bills will beat the Eagles in the Super Bowl
It is going to be the Buffalo Bills defeating the Philadelphia Eagles. ... Buffalo Bills over the Philadelphia Eagles.
Deshaun Watson will get even worse
I think Deshaun Watson's gonna get worse. I think he's gonna get even worse. I think it's gonna be comically bad.