The Dodgers have already won the World Series after the trade deadline

The winners and losers of the trade deadline, the Dodgers have won it all. Just give them the trophy right now. You get Yu Darvish. Yeah.

Colin Kaepernick isn't being signed because his vegan diet makes him physically weak

I think that the reason [Kaepernick] is not being signed is because he's not taking care of his body. He's made up of plant proteins. Not animal proteins, and he's just not as... resilient. I've never seen a plant win a fight.

The government has already won the spying game because everyone willingly put Alexa listening devices in their homes

Big Brother, you thought that the government was going to start putting robots in our houses. They just flipped the script and they're like, everyone has to go buy those stupid Alexa things. And they willingly put it in their house. And now we've been spied on. And now it's over. If you buy an Alexa, you're done. It has your credit card information. You're done.

The Ravens' fourth-quarter problems are moving earlier

Historically, the fourth-quarter Ravens have not been a great team. That fourth-quarter Ravens has started to creep its way into the third-quarter Ravens. And I think eventually it's going to keep creeping earlier and earlier in the game. I don't think it's going to get better because the defense does not look good.

Baker Mayfield has a real revenge game against Cleveland

This is like a big Baker revenge spot too. This is not a made-up Baker—I have a perceived slight against me because some team didn't trade for me when I was on the market. This is Baker Mayfield against Stefanski, and they haven't talked since he left Cleveland.

The NFL should reduce the season to 16 games

I'm going to say it. I think that 17 games is too much. I like the scarcity. I like if you brought it back to 16, because the NFL's also been playing this game for a long time where they have to find safer-looking ways to do a dangerous activity.