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Big CatBig Cat

The NFL faked the Roger Goodell death hack to cover up a photo of a Patriots fan flipping him off

Tweet comes out last night or this morning, Patriots fan giving Goodell the finger in a picture. Bad look. Real bad look. One of Goodell's security guards got fired for that. You can't let that happen to the boss man. So how do we cover it up? Fake killed Goodell.

This is a satirical conspiracy theory; the NFL Twitter account was genuinely hacked by the group 'OurMine'.

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Loss
Jun 8, 2016
#18927
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The US Men's National Soccer Team could make some noise in the next two World Cups

I'd say that [soccer is] better than ever. I would say not this World Cup and next World Cup. The U.S. could really make some noise.

The US failed to qualify for the 2018 World Cup (the 'next' one relative to 2016) and reached the Round of 16 in 2022.
Void
Jun 8, 2016
#18928
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A statement loss to Mexico is what the US soccer team needs to announce its global presence

What you really want – now, I want to see the United States – barely lose to Mexico in a statement loss. And that could be what really announces our presence on the global scale.

This is a satirical concept of a 'statement loss' which is inherently subjective and comedic.
Void
Jun 8, 2016
#18929
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The United States soccer team is the Indiana Pacers of the global scale

The thing about Klinsmann is the United States in soccer is the Indiana Pacers. We've never done anything great, really. We've had a couple good players every now and again. But we think that we're entitled to be a really good team.

This is a subjective comparison between a national team and an NBA franchise.

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Big CatBig Cat

France is unstoppable in the 2026 World Cup

When we first got the bracket, I said I was gonna go chalk and just bet on France. They just seem like there's nothing that you can do to stop him. France looks unstoppable.

The 2026 World Cup final is likely still pending or just occurring around the episode date.
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Big CatBig Cat

The toxicity towards Christian Pulisic proves America is finally a real soccer country

I think with the amount of vitriol that has gone towards Christian Pulisic, we have shown for the first time we might be a real soccer country because that actually, it's nuts how he's gotten bashed by everyone. The fact that it's gotten so toxic towards this one guy, it's like, oh shit. Maybe we could become a country that people cared that much about it.

This is a subjective cultural take on fandom.
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Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers for the third time

Pardon My Take... July 10th. We are the first to report that LeBron James is going back to Cleveland... LeBron James is a Cleveland Cavalier yet again for the third time in his career.

LeBron's 2026 team choice is pending the actual offseason events of that year.