The US government should issue medals to everyone staying inside for quarantine
They should mail us medals for staying inside because we are saving lives. Great generation. This is our D-Day. They should just ship us as you create a new type of life-saving medal from the US government and send us like one every week so we can pin them to our shirts walk around feel good about it.
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View episodeOwning a tiger is a drug no different than smoking crack
I actually think that being around these animals is a drug... you get addicted to the rush of these awesome animals that kill you, but you don't think they can kill you because they grow up around you. Having a tiger in my opinion is no different than smoking crack for the first time. It's cool, I'm sure it feels great.
Kevin Spacey is the runaway worst Kevin of all time
Kevin Spacey is number one on our bad Kevin's... he is I think he's like the runaway worse Kevin of all time. We should put an asterisk next to Kevin Spacey and then be like clearly Worst Kevin Captain because the other Kevin's don't really deserve to be in association with him. He's at a Pantheon all on his own.
Kevin Federline is the American dream
Kevin Federline [is] the American dream. Everything about Kevin Federline is something you should strive to do. You get married to a superstar in her field, you get a shitload of money, you wear jeans suits all the time, have three do-rags and a hat on at all times, and then you just live off the teat of being like a guest appearance on a reality show twice a year for the next 50 years.
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View profileSpain is entering a period of absolute soccer dominance and will win the next Euro.
They won the Euro two years ago. They won the World Cup. They're probably gonna win the Euro in two years. They're just different generation dominating soccer.
Goals scored in the World Cup third-place game should not count toward the Golden Boot.
I also had one bone to pick. The third place game, which is hilarious that they still do this... The fact that those goals count for the Golden Boot is such bullshit. That's stupid. That should not count. Like that's not a real game.
LeBron James will announce his free agency decision tonight.
I'm fully expecting him to announce at 9:00 PM tonight. Yep. Like shit like that where it's like, I went to a movie on Thursday night. I was like, oh, LeBron's gonna fucking announce during the movie. He's, he's now fucking us... I think that's what's gonna happen. I think he's gonna decide tonight.