If Ben Roethlisberger puts his walking boot on, it will actually help his head injury heal

I know this medically makes no sense, but I really do think that if Big Ben hurts his head, if he put on his walking boot, he will be better. [It's a] placebo effect.

The West Coast weather is basically a performance-enhancing drug for high school athletes

The weather is very, very nice. It's like a PED almost for high school kids... You're going to be better at sports if they cared at sports... you can play basketball like 24 hours a day, probably like 11 months out of the year.

Duke basketball is entering a major championship window because of Zion Williamson

My cool throne is Duke basketball. So they're back. Zion Williamson, my guy. 6'10", 320 pounds... Dunked from the free throw line. Kyrie, Jason Tatum about to take over for the Celtics. So it's going to be a big, big window for Duke basketball.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.