Jon Gruden will move on from Derek Carr in a year

Derek Carr, you're a weirdo, dude. Chill out. Dude, you're going to play for a year, and then Jon Gruden's going to move on.

Nathan Peterman might take Derek Carr's job by the end of the year

Nathan Peterman, I'm going to say it right now, he might take Derek Carr's job by the end of the year... In at least one game, Jon Gruden will just get pissed off at Derek Carr.

Professional athletes FaceTime at a much higher rate than the general public

I've realized this the last few weeks on Hard Knocks. I think professional athletes FaceTime at a much higher rate than the rest of the public in general.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.