PMT DB
PMT DB
Luke Willson on Hard Knocks, Nathan Peterman's Moxie, and Tough Pills to Swallow
Big Cat and PFT Commenter are riding high on the absolute chaos that is the 2019 Oakland Raiders. Between Jon Gruden's chest-first walking style and the sheer awkwardness of Derek Carr, Hard Knocks has become must-watch television, even if HBO Go tries to sabotage the cord-cutters by delaying the upload. The real star of the show, however, remains Nathan Peterman, who is currently undergoing the greatest preseason redemption arc in the history of the sport.
PFT CommenterNathan Peterman might take Derek Carr's job by the end of the year
Nathan Peterman, I'm going to say it right now, he might take Derek Carr's job by the end of the year... In at least one game, Jon Gruden will just get pissed off at Derek Carr.
Big Cat is convinced that Carr’s days are numbered because he’s essentially become Gruden’s Andy Bernard, lurking in the shadows and begging for dinner invites that are never coming. Gruden doesn't do dinner; he does Vending Machine Fritos and Diet Coke.
Big CatJon Gruden will move on from Derek Carr in a year
Derek Carr, you're a weirdo, dude. Chill out. Dude, you're going to play for a year, and then Jon Gruden's going to move on.
The Preseason GOAT and the Chicken Wars
Moving into Hot Seat/Cool Throne, PFT Commenter has officially found his new favorite player: Vikings backup quarterback Kyle Sloter. The stats don't lie, and neither does the tinted visor. PFT is ready to bench Kirk Cousins and his $30 million contract yesterday.
PFT CommenterKyle Sloter should start for the Vikings over Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins needs to be benched. Kyle Sloter needs to start the season for the Vikings... This guy's the best fucking player in the history of any league's preseason of all time.
In the world of fast food, the Popeyes chicken sandwich shortage has left a vacuum that Chick-fil-A is failing to exploit. PFT offered a simple solution for the kings of the drive-thru to reclaim their throne.
PFT CommenterChick-fil-A would beat Popeyes if they released an extra spicy chicken sandwich
Develop an extra spicy chicken sandwich. If you go to market with extra spicy, that'll take all the buzz off Popeyes.
Big Cat also updated us on his personal life, revealing he survived his first dental visit in four years with only two cavities. Despite the victory, he remains skeptical of the entire profession.
Big CatDentists are scams
As far as I'm concerned, dentists are scams.
Mt. Rushmore of Toughest Pills to Swallow
This week’s Mount Rushmore got dark, fast. The guys moved past the literal (fish oil pills) and straight into the existential. Big Cat led the way with the crushing reality that hangovers no longer last a couple of hours, but rather several business days.
Big CatGetting old sucks, especially the hangovers
My first pick will be getting old sucks, especially hangovers. So hangovers getting worse and just the aging process is the worst.
Things took a turn for the depressing when Big Cat brought up the mortality of man’s best friend. It’s a reality every pet owner faces, but hearing it out loud on a comedy podcast is a different kind of sting.
Big CatAll dogs die
All dogs die. ... It's a hard pill to swallow. ... The human death is, yes, it's obviously worse, but you don't deal with it in the amount that, like, if you live to 80, you're going to have probably eight dogs, nine dogs.
Not to be outdone in the misery department, PFT brought up the looming environmental collapse.
PFT CommenterClimate change will cause the earth to fry in the next 100 years
Climate change is real and the earth is basically going to fry in the next hundred years... Or less. For sure going to happen.
Luke Willson Joins the Show
Raiders tight end and Canadian legend Luke Willson called in to discuss life under the Hard Knocks microscope. He revealed that the show’s editors are basically doing deep fakes, mashing up audio from different plays to make it look like he's getting lit up by Johnathan Abram when he definitely wasn't. Luke is currently staging a private boycott of the show because of it. He also gave us a look into the locker room vibes around the man, the myth, the legend: Nathan Peterman.
Luke WillsonNathan Peterman is a rejuvenated and reinvented quarterback
I think that Nathan Peterman, whether it's here or somewhere else this year, if he gets in, I think he's a rejuvenated, reinvented QB, man. This guy, I've been very impressed by Nate so far.
Before letting him go, the guys helped Luke coordinate a plan for the possibility of being cut on national television. The strategy is simple: wear a Pardon My Take shirt and sob uncontrollably so it looks like the podcast is the only thing he has left in the world.
Uhh Ya Think and Guys on Chicks
Rob Gronkowski is officially the face of CBD, and the guys are already planning his comeback. While Gronk might be skinny right now, the lure of playing only the games that matter in January seems too good to pass up.
Big CatRob Gronkowski will return to the NFL to play in the December and January games
I would say he [Gronkowski] probably will be back because he'll do the thing where he can basically play the important games in December and January and have fun and not have to deal with all the bullshit.
Finally, we closed out with a gravelly-voiced Bubba reading Guys on Chicks. One listener asked about her boyfriend's gambling addiction, but Big Cat reminded her that the scoreboard only stops when the heart does.
Big CatYou're only down money in gambling when you die
He will [win it back], because if you make him quit, then all that he lost is lost forever. That's true. He's not down yet. You're only down when you die.
Knock on wood if you're with us.
