Jon Gruden will move on from Derek Carr in a year

Derek Carr, you're a weirdo, dude. Chill out. Dude, you're going to play for a year, and then Jon Gruden's going to move on.

Nathan Peterman might take Derek Carr's job by the end of the year

Nathan Peterman, I'm going to say it right now, he might take Derek Carr's job by the end of the year... In at least one game, Jon Gruden will just get pissed off at Derek Carr.

Professional athletes FaceTime at a much higher rate than the general public

I've realized this the last few weeks on Hard Knocks. I think professional athletes FaceTime at a much higher rate than the rest of the public in general.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.