Jon Gruden will move on from Derek Carr in a year

Derek Carr, you're a weirdo, dude. Chill out. Dude, you're going to play for a year, and then Jon Gruden's going to move on.

Professional athletes FaceTime at a much higher rate than the general public

I've realized this the last few weeks on Hard Knocks. I think professional athletes FaceTime at a much higher rate than the rest of the public in general.

Kyle Sloter should start for the Vikings over Kirk Cousins

Kirk Cousins needs to be benched. Kyle Sloter needs to start the season for the Vikings... This guy's the best fucking player in the history of any league's preseason of all time.

The Bills could have three or four Super Bowls without kickers

You can make the argument that the Buffalo Bills would have like three or four Super Bowls if kickers weren't a thing in football. You can make the argument that the Patriots might not have had the start of that dynasty if it wasn't for kickers.

Jalen Hurts will answer the Titans by beating them as a passer

I actually think Jalen Hurts is good enough as a quarterback that when somebody dares him to do that, he could say, 'Fuck you, I will beat you as a quarterback.' And then stay in the pocket and throw for like 300 yards and three touchdowns.

The Jaguars would be the second-best team in football if they win in Denver

If they win this game in Denver, I would put them maybe second in the power rankings behind the Jets.