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HankHank

Gout Gout is the next Usain Bolt

18-year-old Australian Sprint Phenom ran a 19.67 in the 200 meter breaking Usain Bolt's record. Only 18 years old. Great name. He's next. Usain Bolt shaking in his boots.

Gout Gout is a real athlete who has indeed broken Bolt's U18 records in 2024, but 'next Usain Bolt' is a monumental status to achieve.

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Void
Apr 15, 2026
#30218
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The last 12 months in DC sports is a top five all-time bad sports year for a city

Based on the research that I've done, I think that the last 12 months in DC sports has been a top five all time bad sports year for a city, for a sport, for sports town. All four major sports. The Wizards historically bad. The nationals were terrible last year... the commander's backsliding and just disappointing everybody.

While subjective, the performance of the Wizards and Commanders during the 2024-2025 period aligns with this assessment of a historic low for the city.
Open
Apr 15, 2026
#30219
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Luke McCaffrey will make the Pro Bowl next year

I've got that means Luke McCaffrey Pro Bowl next year. Mm. That's what that means.

Luke McCaffrey is an emerging talent, but a Pro Bowl nod in his second season is a high bar.
Void
Apr 15, 2026
#30220
Big CatBig Cat

I hate the NBA Play-in and won't take it seriously until a 9th or 10th seed goes deep

I hate the playing. I hate the playing... it's stupid and I honestly like, until a team in the ninth or 10th spot can go deep in the playoffs, I'm not gonna take it seriously. The ninth or 10th team are never gonna win. Like, they're never gonna go deep. This isn't serious.

The 2023 Miami Heat reached the Finals from the play-in, but Big Cat qualifies his take by dismissing teams that were 'playoff teams anyway'.

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HankHank

The Commanders will roll over the Cowboys

I think the Commanders are gonna roll this game. The Eagles are good and the Commanders almost beat them. The Commanders are gonna beat the Cowboys.

The Commanders-Cowboys result and margin will determine this prediction.
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HankHank

The Bills are the AFC team to beat

Josh Allen's in his prime, they looked unbelievable. They're gonna be probably the team to beat in the AFC.

The Bills' 2026 season and AFC finish have not been resolved yet.
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HankHank

Steve Ballmer is eating shit

Who's back of the week is eating shit. Steve Ballmer.

This is a subjective characterization of Ballmer's public response.