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Loss
Jul 15, 2019·Mt. Rushmore
#2022
HankHank

I can catch a fish with my bare hands in a river in Alaska

If I had a day on a river in Alaska, I could catch a fish with my hands. ... I've been watching a lot of Planet Earth. Their method is not that crazy. ... Give me enough time in Alaska.

Catching wild salmon by hand is notoriously difficult for humans without specialized skills or bear-like reflexes.

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Win
Jul 15, 2019
#2013
Big CatBig Cat

Novak Djokovic is the tennis GOAT

I'm a Djokovic guy. I became a Djokovic guy on Sunday morning. ... Djokovic is the GOAT. He's got 16 Grand Slam titles, and he's six years younger than Federer.

Djokovic currently holds the record for most men's Grand Slam titles (24) and holds a winning head-to-head record against both Federer and Nadal, strengthening the statistical GOAT case.
Void
Jul 15, 2019
#2014
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Pete Sampras is the tennis GOAT

I was actually rooting for Djokovic too because the more that you can poke holes in Federer's resume, the more you can say Sampras is the GOAT. ... He is the goat. Sampras is the goat.

While subjective, Sampras's 14 titles have been eclipsed by Djokovic, Nadal, and Federer, making this a minority view today.
Void
Jul 15, 2019
#27945
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The person who invented tennis scoring was a crackhead with a brain injury

The person who invented tennis scoring in the first place was just like a crackhead with a brain injury. 15-30-40. And then there's love. Why?

This is a comedic insult and subjective assessment.

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Open
Sep 18, 2026·Picks
#31441
HankHank

The Commanders will roll over the Cowboys

I think the Commanders are gonna roll this game. The Eagles are good and the Commanders almost beat them. The Commanders are gonna beat the Cowboys.

The Commanders-Cowboys result and margin will determine this prediction.
Open
Sep 14, 2026
#31392
HankHank

The Bills are the AFC team to beat

Josh Allen's in his prime, they looked unbelievable. They're gonna be probably the team to beat in the AFC.

The Bills' 2026 season and AFC finish have not been resolved yet.
Void
Sep 14, 2026·Who's Back
#31407
HankHank

Steve Ballmer is eating shit

Who's back of the week is eating shit. Steve Ballmer.

This is a subjective characterization of Ballmer's public response.