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HankHank

I refuse to consider the possibility of Tom Brady leaving the Patriots until it actually happens

I don't want to think about living in a world where Tom Brady isn't on the Patriots. I'm not going to consider it a possibility until it becomes a reality. So that is my official stance.

Brady signed with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers just weeks later on March 20, 2020, making Hank's refusal to consider it a 'reality' a failed strategy of denial.

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Win
Mar 4, 2020
#27416
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

DC Defenders fans will break the world record for the longest cup snake at Audi Field this weekend

I'm challenging DC Defenders fans to get a cup snake that goes around the entire Stadium... they can break the world record which as most as I can tell is a hundred yards... it's going to happen. We're going to get the cup snake going around.

The DC Defenders fans did indeed create a massive cup snake that broke records and became a staple of the 2020 XFL season.
Void
Mar 4, 2020
#14453
Big CatBig Cat

Coach K is entering his 'senile' phase where he has no filter and is constantly angry at the media

I think we're going to get into very soon, if we're not there already like the ornery like super angry at the media, just mad all the time [Coach K senile]. We're entering... the Twilight phase of Coach K having no filter and finally saying shit that he really is wanted to say for a very long time.

This is a subjective characterization of a coach's career phase.
Win
Mar 4, 2020
#14457
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bruce Arians is a 'Rhino Hunter' who loves signing old, veteran quarterbacks

Bruce Arians did say he prescribes to analytics... and he does like older quarterbacks. So he's kind of like a cougar hunter... Bruce Arians is definitely a rhino Hunter. Yes, because he liked Carson Palmer, loved Peyton Manning. He likes these old guys.

Arians did indeed sign Tom Brady shortly after this, and previously had success with Carson Palmer in Arizona, supporting the 'Rhino Hunter' theory.

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HankHank

This is the Knicks' championship to lose

This series is over. Right. And the Spurs Thunder series looks like it's going at least six, probably seven. Like it looks like an absolute battle. Yeah. So that's good for them. The Spurs all things, I mean, this is, this is the Knicks championship to lose.

The Knicks are currently in the second round/Conference finals (implied), so they haven't won the championship yet.
Void
HankHank

My official stance on the Toucher & Rich radio beef is simply 'fuck 'em'

I'm not leading this battle. They took a shot. I said fuck him. And that's where I stand... Official stance. So you guys can just fuck him.

Subjective personal stance.
Loss
HankHank

I did not fart during the Kellen Moore interview; it was just air that fell out of my body

The sound did come out of me, my body. But it was not a conscious fart... Most farts air coming out of your asshole, max, most farts max have to push. Like most farts, you're like, this one fell out... I was not like, consciously like, oh, I got a fart. But when I lifted up my leg, I, I guess I had like gas down there... A dude came out of my ass. That was so loud.

It was definitively a fart.