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HankHank

I will give it my all and I believe I will be able to dunk

I'm in it. The bet's out there. It's 20, it's 20 k. ... I'm going to give it my all to be able to dunk. I think I'm gonna be able to do it. I know the haters and you guys and everyone in the world doesn't think I'm going to, but I I welcome that. I welcome that. ... The only way that's gonna stop me is injury.

Based on available evidence, Hank was unable to dunk a basketball. Instagram posts reference 'Hank might not be able to dunk' and his 2025 resolution was still listed as 'Dunk,' indicating he did not accomplish it by the deadline.

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Win
Apr 26, 2024
#3228
Big CatBig Cat

Ryan Poles' trade with the Panthers is one of the greatest fleeces in NFL history

Ryan Poles, what he did to the Panthers... I actually feel bad for the Panthers. Like it's, it's, it's gross... DJ Moore, Darnell Wright, Tyrique Stevenson, Caleb Williams and a 2025 second rounder. And they got Bryce Young. Ryan Poles. And now Rome Odunze. David Tepper... Basically every quarterback that's ever put on a Bear's uniform has been not put in the a good situation to succeed. He's doing everything to make sure that Caleb Williams succeeds.

The trade is widely regarded as one of the most lopsided in modern NFL history given the haul of players and picks the Bears received versus Bryce Young's early struggles.
Win
Apr 26, 2024
#22692
Big CatBig Cat

The 2024 NFL Draft set a record with the first 14 picks being offensive players

The first 14 picks were offense. So you didn't get a defensive player until number 15. ... which has never been done. It was insane.

This is a verifiable fact about the 2024 NFL Draft results.
Void
Apr 26, 2024
#3229
Big CatBig Cat

Michael Penix Jr. to the Falcons is a baffling move that makes zero sense

The Atlanta Falcons who, if you remember, signed Kirk Cousins to $180 million deal what like a month and a half ago, selected Michael Penix Jr. with the eighth pick... It makes zero sense to do it. Now if he's a great quarterback, cool. I hope it pans out. But like when he, is he gonna start? Is he gonna sit for two years? Why you such a high pick for this? It, it just, you could've probably gotten him in the second round.

While Penix could be a future star, the process of paying $180M to Cousins and then using the #8 pick on his successor immediately was universally panned by analysts.

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HankHank

The Commanders will roll over the Cowboys

I think the Commanders are gonna roll this game. The Eagles are good and the Commanders almost beat them. The Commanders are gonna beat the Cowboys.

The Commanders-Cowboys result and margin will determine this prediction.
Open
HankHank

The Bills are the AFC team to beat

Josh Allen's in his prime, they looked unbelievable. They're gonna be probably the team to beat in the AFC.

The Bills' 2026 season and AFC finish have not been resolved yet.
Void
HankHank

Steve Ballmer is eating shit

Who's back of the week is eating shit. Steve Ballmer.

This is a subjective characterization of Ballmer's public response.