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HankHank

I will give it my all and I believe I will be able to dunk

I'm in it. The bet's out there. It's 20, it's 20 k. ... I'm going to give it my all to be able to dunk. I think I'm gonna be able to do it. I know the haters and you guys and everyone in the world doesn't think I'm going to, but I I welcome that. I welcome that. ... The only way that's gonna stop me is injury.

Based on available evidence, Hank was unable to dunk a basketball. Instagram posts reference 'Hank might not be able to dunk' and his 2025 resolution was still listed as 'Dunk,' indicating he did not accomplish it by the deadline.

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Win
Apr 26, 2024
#3228
Big CatBig Cat

Ryan Poles' trade with the Panthers is one of the greatest fleeces in NFL history

Ryan Poles, what he did to the Panthers... I actually feel bad for the Panthers. Like it's, it's, it's gross... DJ Moore, Darnell Wright, Tyrique Stevenson, Caleb Williams and a 2025 second rounder. And they got Bryce Young. Ryan Poles. And now Rome Odunze. David Tepper... Basically every quarterback that's ever put on a Bear's uniform has been not put in the a good situation to succeed. He's doing everything to make sure that Caleb Williams succeeds.

The trade is widely regarded as one of the most lopsided in modern NFL history given the haul of players and picks the Bears received versus Bryce Young's early struggles.
Win
Apr 26, 2024
#22692
Big CatBig Cat

The 2024 NFL Draft set a record with the first 14 picks being offensive players

The first 14 picks were offense. So you didn't get a defensive player until number 15. ... which has never been done. It was insane.

This is a verifiable fact about the 2024 NFL Draft results.
Void
Apr 26, 2024
#3229
Big CatBig Cat

Michael Penix Jr. to the Falcons is a baffling move that makes zero sense

The Atlanta Falcons who, if you remember, signed Kirk Cousins to $180 million deal what like a month and a half ago, selected Michael Penix Jr. with the eighth pick... It makes zero sense to do it. Now if he's a great quarterback, cool. I hope it pans out. But like when he, is he gonna start? Is he gonna sit for two years? Why you such a high pick for this? It, it just, you could've probably gotten him in the second round.

While Penix could be a future star, the process of paying $180M to Cousins and then using the #8 pick on his successor immediately was universally panned by analysts.

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HankHank

This is the Knicks' championship to lose

This series is over. Right. And the Spurs Thunder series looks like it's going at least six, probably seven. Like it looks like an absolute battle. Yeah. So that's good for them. The Spurs all things, I mean, this is, this is the Knicks championship to lose.

The Knicks are currently in the second round/Conference finals (implied), so they haven't won the championship yet.
Void
HankHank

My official stance on the Toucher & Rich radio beef is simply 'fuck 'em'

I'm not leading this battle. They took a shot. I said fuck him. And that's where I stand... Official stance. So you guys can just fuck him.

Subjective personal stance.
Loss
HankHank

I did not fart during the Kellen Moore interview; it was just air that fell out of my body

The sound did come out of me, my body. But it was not a conscious fart... Most farts air coming out of your asshole, max, most farts max have to push. Like most farts, you're like, this one fell out... I was not like, consciously like, oh, I got a fart. But when I lifted up my leg, I, I guess I had like gas down there... A dude came out of my ass. That was so loud.

It was definitively a fart.