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Void
HankHank

Kevin Durant is a front-running coward and a baby back bitch

Kevin Durant, pros. He's probably top three NBA player, probably best scorer, pure scorer in the NBA. Cons, skinny knees, slouches, and is a coward, front-running coward, and a baby back bitch.

Entirely a subjective character judgment common in sports media at the time.

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Win
Mar 10, 2017
#13275
Big CatBig Cat

Both the Texans and the Browns won the Brock Osweiler trade, even though neither team got better

It's a rare trade where both teams I think both teams won this trade right but neither team got better right? It is a factual statement to say that the Browns, the Cleveland Browns, made a good trade that involved taking on Brock Osweiler in his contract which it sounds like they're going to cut him so it's just the contract but... both teams won.

The Texans cleared space to try for Romo and the Browns essentially bought a 2nd-round pick for cash. Both achieved their specific front-office goals at the time.
Loss
Mar 10, 2017
#13276
Big CatBig Cat

I don't hate the Chicago Bears' three-year, $43 million contract for Mike Glennon

I don't want to say I predicted it, but I basically predicted it the whole way down to Ryan Pace seemingly negotiating against himself... Everyone flips out... i saw it was like 19 million guaranteed so it's probably a two-year contract they can probably let him go... so i don't really hate it and this is how this is step one of me talking myself into Mike Glennon.

Mike Glennon was a disaster for the Bears, starting only four games before being benched for rookie Mitch Trubisky. The contract is widely cited as a massive failure.
Void
Mar 10, 2017
#22512
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I am officially a Baltimore Ravens fan because of the Joe Flacco and Danny Woodhead backfield

Danny Woodhead going to the Ravens... Him and Joe Flacco. I think I'm officially a Ravens fan. That's going to be the grittiest, elitist backfield. Grit Leap.

Subjective fan alignment, though he does consistently support Woodhead throughout his career.

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Void
HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
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HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.