Skip to content
PMTPMT DB
Void
HankHank

Rolos are trash because they feel like they are going to pull your teeth out

Rolos are trash. You take a bite of Rolos, I feel like every time I take a bite of Rolos my tooth is coming out with it.

Subjective taste in candy.

More from this episode

View episode
Loss
Apr 1, 2020
#6363
Big CatBig Cat

I am officially cancelling all sports until 2022 to avoid further heartbreak

I'm approaching [cancellations] the exact opposite way. I am cancelled sports for 2020, 2021 and possibly 2022 and anything that we get that comes sooner than that is a bonus. I'm not gonna let myself get my heart broken over and over... the world has ended and sports are over.

Sports returned much earlier than 2022 (summer/fall 2020), making this literal prediction incorrect.
Push
Apr 1, 2020
#6364
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The future of sports is video games and closed-set UFC fights

The future of sports is everyone watching video games and then every three weeks or so a closed set where Dana White has people beat the fuck out of each other. That's all we have.

UFC was indeed the first major sport back with closed sets, though traditional sports returned in bubbles soon after.
Loss
Apr 1, 2020
#22492
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL should play on a remote island or in Hawaii to save the season

The NFL actually should be looking at like island property right this second. They should be looking wherever the fucking Bahamas Bowl is played... go to Hawaii. Go back to the Pro Bowl.

The NFL did not move to an island; they eventually played in home stadiums with various protocols.

More from Hank

View profile
Open
HankHank

The Commanders will roll over the Cowboys

I think the Commanders are gonna roll this game. The Eagles are good and the Commanders almost beat them. The Commanders are gonna beat the Cowboys.

The Commanders-Cowboys result and margin will determine this prediction.
Open
HankHank

The Bills are the AFC team to beat

Josh Allen's in his prime, they looked unbelievable. They're gonna be probably the team to beat in the AFC.

The Bills' 2026 season and AFC finish have not been resolved yet.
Void
HankHank

Steve Ballmer is eating shit

Who's back of the week is eating shit. Steve Ballmer.

This is a subjective characterization of Ballmer's public response.