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HankHank

The 'Car Stick' is a necessary invention for everyone who drops items between car seats

Simple, simple invention. Everyone needs it. Just a little skinny stick that you can, like, it, like, would go stick up from the side of your car. And when shit gets stuck in between your seats, just grab the stick and it fishes it right out of there.

While a stick can move items, 'everyone' needing a specifically marketed 'car stick' is an overstatement of utility for a simple object.

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Jul 15, 2016·The Takies
#3596
Big CatBig Cat

I guarantee the Takie Awards will be a live show next year

Next year, it's going to be a live show. I'm actually guaranteeing that right now. I want to do it at Guy Fieri's restaurant, like in the back room.

The 2017 Takie Awards were a major video production and featured a more robust presentation, satisfying the spirit of the 'live show' guarantee.
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Jul 15, 2016·The Takies
#3595
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Guy Fieri's food is the best food I've ever had

I'm a big Guy Fieri guy, so I feel like I can say this. The food was phenomenal. Best food I've ever had.

This is entirely a matter of taste, though widely considered a contrarian/ironic food take.
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Jul 15, 2016·The Takies
#3597
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Media members and sports figures should physically fight to settle disputes

I think the media and sports figures should actually physically fight. That feels like something that would happen in maybe Argentina where a ref screws up and they're like, 'oh, we're going to kill you.' I'd like to see more accountability.

This is a satirical suggestion for sports media reform.

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HankHank

The Colts are even less watchable than the Chargers

They are the deadest, most non-competitive football team, other than the Chargers, that I've ever seen. I think they might be worse.

This is a subjective comparison of two teams' quality and watchability.
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HankHank

The Patriots feel like a one- or two-seed

I feel like the Bills are gonna lose another game. Not against the Patriots. Lose their next game against the Patriots and then we're gonna be in the same spot. So where do you feel though overall? Like are you the two seed? One seed possibly one seed. Two. Two or one seed. Yeah. That's how it feels.

The Patriots' final playoff seed can be resolved after the 2026 regular season, but the outcome is not reliably known here.
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HankHank

The Jets can't build a winning culture

You just can't. It's hard to build a winning culture ever. It doesn't matter what you're doing if you're the Jets.

This is a deliberately broad franchise judgment rather than a claim that can be definitively proven or disproven.