The Green Bay Packers are officially dead

The Greeny Packers. Aaron Rodgers looks like he's playing poorly on purpose. That's how bad he's playing tonight... I'm officially saying get out the [shovel]... Their next game is against the Eagles, they're dead. That's a dead team.

Mike Vrabel is the NFL Coach of the Year

[Mike Vrabel] is coach of the year. It's something about he just gets 'em ready for a fight and he just makes games miserable for the other team. And they fist fight him for 60 minutes and most of the time they come out with a win.

The NFC North is officially Kirk Cousins's division now

This is Kirk Cousins's division now. They [the Vikings] are [winning it]... Siara... see you bitches. And Packers fans know it. They know they're dead. They know there's no chance.

The DMV is the worst line to wait in

DMV. Great pick. That's gotta be one one. Gotta be because it goes out of order too. Yeah. That bullshit. It is. Pick number sucks.

I'm going to win all my bets and get in shape this year

I'll go with, I'm going to win all my bets. Yeah. Really dumb thought. And I'm going to get in shape. These are daily thoughts I have.

Jared Goff will be the next NFL player to record 400 or more passing yards in a game

I'm going to go with the next player to record 400 plus pass yards in a game. I'm taking Jared Goff. They're plus 1100. I don't think it matters what their schedule is. No, not for a guy like Jared Goff.