The eyeball test tells me that DK Metcalf is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass

DK Metcalf is the fastest human being alive... [PFT: He's very fast but he's not faster than Usain Bolt]. I think he might be. The eyeball test tells me that DK is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass. It's terrifying how fast he is.

The Seahawks are the pinnacle team in the NFL right now because no matter the situation, things are going to get weird

The Seahawks are just insane... they are the pinnacle team in the NFL right now where no matter what the situation is, you're like, 'It's gonna get weird.' If they're up by ten, shit's going to get weird. They're down by 10, shit's going to get weird.

The Falcons genuinely invent new ways to lose a football game every single week

We have joked that the Falcons invent new ways to lose every single week. It is not a joke. The fact that they lost the game by Todd Gurley his momentum taking him into the end zone... It is incredible that they lost that way. If Todd Gurley just goes down, they win that game.

The WNBA badly mishandled its Finals scheduling

Instead of doing it in an arena where it's like a 5,000 capacity arena, they could have done it at the regular time. They chose to do 12:30 in the afternoon.

There is real tension between Jalen Brown and the Celtics

I don't think it's Jason Tatum and Jalen Brown really have personal beef. I think it's just, you know, Jalen Brown, Celtics, and that's turning into Jason Tatum in some ways. But I think there's definitely beef between Jalen Brown and the Celtics organization.

The Browns cannot make a serious playoff run

Could they make a run to the Super Bowl? No. Yes or no. Yeah. Think of the Browns. The Browns aren't good. We know the Browns aren't good.