I'm officially retiring from writing books for at least the next 25 years

We promise we won't write another book till at least 20 years. And probably, I'm actually gonna say 25 years. I think I'm gonna retire from writing books.

Shohei Ohtani's home runs in Colorado don't count because they are just pop flies anywhere else

I know Shohei [Ohtani] hit two home runs, but he was doing it in Colorado and we could fucking do that. That's a pop fly. That's a fucking pop fly. I could hit a home run in Colorado.

The Nationals' offense is having a great year because facing their own Little League pitching staff in spring training gave them confidence.

That's why the Nats offense is so good this year because their pitching staff is pretty much like a little league team. So like in spring training, they just all got really confident. They're like, yeah, we can all hit.

A T-Rex would hit zero home runs in a Major League season

Zero. Zero. You don't find a bat that works for that. The strike zone on that guy would be unreal. The strike. Yeah. The strike zone would be massive. Yeah. The arms would not be conducive to a good baseball swing.

When the wind is blowing in at Wrigley Field, hitters should aim low at the scoreboards because they block the wind.

When the wind's blowing in, you got two choices and it's to go at either scoreboard. 'Cause it just blocks the wind. Wind could be blown in 40 and if you hit it low enough at the left field scoreboard, it's gonna go out. If you hit it low enough at the right field scoreboard, it's gonna go out... you just win in doubt. You gotta yank.