I'm ready to care way too much about dumb sports shit and ignore serious topics

I'm so ready to not care about serious shit anymore. And just getting back to caring, like caring way, way too much about dumb shit. That's our right as Americans. It's our duty as Americans to do that.

Bryson DeChambeau is the number one baby back bitch in sports

[Bryson DeChambeau] is now the number one triple B in the sports world... I think he's baby back bitch of the year. The fact that he now has his caddy blocking camera guys too.

History will vindicate the claim that Bryson DeChambeau is roid raging

I think that history is going to vindicate our Bryson [DeChambeau] takes sooner rather than later. This is a classic roid rage type. If I'm on a witch hunt, he's roid raging out there. Guy stinks. Big time.

England will beat the Netherlands and then lose a heartbreaking match to Argentina

I think England's gonna win this weekend. And then you'll have the realization that it might not actually be coming home after all... losing to Argentina at that stage, that would be the most heartbreaking loss they could possibly have.

Christian Pulisic is clearly not and cannot be the face of US soccer

I'm just sick of relying on him [Pulisic] to be the face of US soccer because it can't be, it's so clear that he's not.

The 4-1 loss to Belgium was the worst USMNT performance in years

That was the worst performance from the US that I've seen in years. Just completely lackluster from the start. So much blame to go around. Tim Ream, friend of the program, good guy over the hill, turned into soccer Shawn Bradley before our very eyes got dunked on twice.