The Bengals bringing back Marvin Lewis is a strategy to maintain relevancy through being a running joke.

The Bengals... Bringing Marvin Lewis back and continuing his contract and continuing him coaching, it's almost like a running joke they've created themselves that gives them relevancy where everyone can be like, Marvin Lewis jokes. So you at least have an identity that everyone can make fun of Marvin Lewis.

The worst thing you can do at an office job is have people set high expectations for you.

You don't want to be great at your job. You don't want to be really, really bad at your job. You just kind of want to just go with the speed of traffic... That is the worst thing that you can do to yourself is make people have high expectations. It's a low bar in Cincinnati. I love it.

LeBron James never wins NBA championships and doesn't follow through on plans.

If you look at LeBron's career, you see the patterns of a drunk person... He doesn't follow through on plans because he never wins NBA championships. Makes big plans and then just kind of backs out of them.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.