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Bruce Arians will be back to coaching within two months of his retirement.

Bruce Arians, he's retired. But as we know, he's not going to know what to do with himself. He's just going to sit on his porch staring out into infinity for two months, and he'll think that's retirement, and then he'll be like, I've got to get back to coaching.

Arians took exactly one year off before returning to coach the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 2019.

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Win
Jan 3, 2018
#5930
Big CatBig Cat

The Bengals bringing back Marvin Lewis is a strategy to maintain relevancy through being a running joke.

The Bengals... Bringing Marvin Lewis back and continuing his contract and continuing him coaching, it's almost like a running joke they've created themselves that gives them relevancy where everyone can be like, Marvin Lewis jokes. So you at least have an identity that everyone can make fun of Marvin Lewis.

The Bengals eventually fired Lewis after the 2018 season following three straight losing seasons, confirming the 'running joke' era had a shelf life.
Void
Jan 3, 2018
#23978
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The worst thing you can do at an office job is have people set high expectations for you.

You don't want to be great at your job. You don't want to be really, really bad at your job. You just kind of want to just go with the speed of traffic... That is the worst thing that you can do to yourself is make people have high expectations. It's a low bar in Cincinnati. I love it.

The concept of 'under-promising and over-delivering' is a standard business strategy, making this a humorous take on professional survival.
Loss
Jan 3, 2018
#23979
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James never wins NBA championships and doesn't follow through on plans.

If you look at LeBron's career, you see the patterns of a drunk person... He doesn't follow through on plans because he never wins NBA championships. Makes big plans and then just kind of backs out of them.

LeBron James had won championships in 2012, 2013, and 2016 at the time of this episode.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The prediction resolves when JMU's 2026 football season ends or the team wins another game, whichever comes first.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Wizards' 2026-27 regular-season finish will determine whether this playoff-seeding prediction was accurate.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.

The 49ers' 2026 defensive quality and this Week 7 result can be evaluated against the skepticism expressed here.