James Laurinaitis' dad is a more intimidating grandfather than Howie Long

I think [Howie Long] is up there, but you know, [James] Laurinaitis, his dad is, like, one of the Road Warriors... I got my dad in a Mortal Kombat situation over James' dad, but I'm just biased.

My son's work ethic is going to be what carries him through his athletic career

His name is Waylon James Long, and he was like seven pounds, five ounces. So he's pretty down the middle as far as measurables are concerned. His work ethic is going to really be what carries him through.

The position parents are in during conception determines their child's athletic ability

I'm not a doctor, but, like, is there a way to tell, like, what position the parents were in when the kid was conceived? ... maybe the Gronkowskis, maybe they've got this stable of just super athletes being poured out of there because, like, maybe [Gordy] and the mom were, like, sprinting in some weird position while the conception occurred.

The Knicks will probably win the series in five games or even sweep the Cavs

I still think that the, the Knicks are probably gonna win in five. They could even pull off the sweep. I guess the only real question we have for you, 'cause we already, we declared that the New York Knicks have won the series after game one. Correct.

The NBA should rebrand the 'granny shot' as the 'pimp grip' to encourage players to use it

Nobody, no player in the NBA wants to shoot a free throw granny style. But if it's pimp grip, that sounds pretty fucking cool. Listen, if it goes in, it doesn't matter. Like if he and he would, he actually probably get some endorsements from it.

I want the Thunder to win so we can love Victor Wembanyama longer before the inevitable hate cycle starts

I know who I want to win. I want the Thunder to win this series. And the reason why I want the thunder to win this series is because I think if the thunder win, we get to restart the clock on how much longer we get to love Weby before we hate 'em. If the Spurs win this series and then they win their first championship and Weby dominates, we're gonna eventually hate Weby.