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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Death is the 'dirtiest player of the year' and an old school goon you want on your team

Dirtiest player of the year. That one we're going to give to death. And it's not really that close of a race either. I mean, death is the kind of player that you hate to see on the other side, but you really like it when a guy like that's on your team. You want death to put on the same uniform that you have on. Death, you know, he's just an old school goon.

Metaphorical and satirical take.

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Jul 15, 2016·The Takies
#3596
Big CatBig Cat

I guarantee the Takie Awards will be a live show next year

Next year, it's going to be a live show. I'm actually guaranteeing that right now. I want to do it at Guy Fieri's restaurant, like in the back room.

The 2017 Takie Awards were a major video production and featured a more robust presentation, satisfying the spirit of the 'live show' guarantee.
Void
Jul 15, 2016·The Takies
#3595
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Guy Fieri's food is the best food I've ever had

I'm a big Guy Fieri guy, so I feel like I can say this. The food was phenomenal. Best food I've ever had.

This is entirely a matter of taste, though widely considered a contrarian/ironic food take.
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Jul 15, 2016·The Takies
#3597
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Media members and sports figures should physically fight to settle disputes

I think the media and sports figures should actually physically fight. That feels like something that would happen in maybe Argentina where a ref screws up and they're like, 'oh, we're going to kill you.' I'd like to see more accountability.

This is a satirical suggestion for sports media reform.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Knicks will probably win the series in five games or even sweep the Cavs

I still think that the, the Knicks are probably gonna win in five. They could even pull off the sweep. I guess the only real question we have for you, 'cause we already, we declared that the New York Knicks have won the series after game one. Correct.

The series is currently ongoing with the Knicks leading 2-0.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA should rebrand the 'granny shot' as the 'pimp grip' to encourage players to use it

Nobody, no player in the NBA wants to shoot a free throw granny style. But if it's pimp grip, that sounds pretty fucking cool. Listen, if it goes in, it doesn't matter. Like if he and he would, he actually probably get some endorsements from it.

This is a comedic suggestion and not a verifiable fact claim.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I want the Thunder to win so we can love Victor Wembanyama longer before the inevitable hate cycle starts

I know who I want to win. I want the Thunder to win this series. And the reason why I want the thunder to win this series is because I think if the thunder win, we get to restart the clock on how much longer we get to love Weby before we hate 'em. If the Spurs win this series and then they win their first championship and Weby dominates, we're gonna eventually hate Weby.

The outcome of the series is pending, and the 'hate cycle' is a subjective sociological prediction.