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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Harambe the gorilla committed suicide by zookeeper to escape living in Cincinnati

Did Harambe like plan this whole thing out? When the kid fell in, do you think Harambe was like, this is my chance to finally get out of this fucking place... Like suicide by zookeeper is pretty much what I'm getting at here.

Clearly impossible to verify and intended as a joke.

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Push
Jun 3, 2016
#17691
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James will have to move cities or fire his team if the Cavs lose the Finals

It looks like LeBron [James] is going to either have to move cities again or fire his whole team.

The Cavs won the 2016 Finals, so he didn't have to leave immediately, though he eventually left for the Lakers in 2018.
Loss
Jun 3, 2016
#17692
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James would be a better player if he had gone to college

I think maybe if LeBron James had gone to college, he would be a better player. What do you learn in college? You learn how to make new friends and how to trust other people. LeBron has some trouble with that.

LeBron is widely considered one of the two greatest players ever without college; it is highly unlikely 1-4 years of college would have made him 'better'.
Loss
Jun 3, 2016
#17694
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James peaked in high school

I'll be the first to say it. LeBron James peaked in high school. There it is. Boom.

LeBron James went on to win 4 NBA championships and 4 MVPs after high school.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

This is a subjective assessment of style and cannot be definitively judged.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

The quality of a team is partly evaluative, though the season's playoff result could test the narrower claim that Dallas is not a serious championship threat.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.

This speculative causal theory is not established by the transcript or otherwise verifiable from the available context.