PMT DB
PMT DB
Paul Bissonnette on NHL Grinding, LeBron's College Void, and Bullying Horses
The Warriors just finished putting the Cavs in a blender at the Oracle, and it looks like the 'Believeland' dream is turning into a nightmare. Steph and Klay didn't even have to be good because the bench decided to actually play basketball. Big Cat is already preparing the obituary for this version of the Cavs, while PFT is looking at the root cause of LeBron's struggles.
PFT CommenterLeBron James would be a better player if he had gone to college
I think maybe if LeBron James had gone to college, he would be a better player. What do you learn in college? You learn how to make new friends and how to trust other people. LeBron has some trouble with that.
Speaking of LeBron, the eyeball test says he might have already reached his limit. While the Warriors move the ball like a team that actually likes each other, LeBron is playing like the guy who was the coolest senior in school and never realized the world got bigger.
PFT CommenterLeBron James peaked in high school
I'll be the first to say it. LeBron James peaked in high school. There it is. Boom.
It wasn't all just basketball analysis, though. Matthew Dellavedova tried to turn the tide with a classic dick punch on Andre Iguodala, but it completely backfired. PFT, a noted enthusiast of the surreptitious groin strike, had some technical feedback for the gritty Australian.
PFT CommenterThe proper way to dick punch is using the back of the hand for a whipping motion
Just a little coaching pointer for Dellavedova. Use the back of the hand. And then that way you get your elbow and your wrist in a whipping motion as opposed to just like the straight up the open face, the open handed slap.
Paul Bissonnette: The Life of a Fourth Line Plug
Paul Bissonnette joined the show to give some much-needed hockey credibility to the program. Biz is the ultimate self-aware athlete, openly admitting he’s a "grocery stick" (the guy who separates the forwards and defense on the bench because he never plays). He broke down the dark arts of the face-off circle and why you shouldn't trust the superstars when they're talking to linesmen.
Paul BissonnetteNHL superstars like Sidney Crosby get better treatment from refs and can bully linesmen into letting them cheat on face-offs
Typically superstars do get a better treatment just because they can bully linesmen a lot more than say no namers... Whereas if Joe Thornton's like, 'Hey, drop the fucking puck when I want it,' he'll be like... 'Hey Michael [Jordan], I didn't see it, but I'm going to call it now.' It's very similar to that.
We also got into the logistics of hockey fights and why Biz is probably the only guy who could take down an MMA legend under the right conditions. If you put Conor McGregor on skates, the height and weight advantage of a professional enforcer becomes a bit of a problem for the Notorious one.
Paul BissonnetteI would beat Conor McGregor in a fight if we were both wearing hockey skates
If it was you and Conor McGregor fighting... but you're both wearing hockey skates, who wins? Well man, he's got pretty good balance. I would put my money on myself just because I'm a lot bigger than him.
Biz also had a fascinating, and frankly very woke, theory on why the NHL went through a lockout and why the game changed for the worse in the mid-2000s. It all goes back to the technology that nobody asked for.
Paul BissonnetteThe 'glowing puck' ruined the NHL and likely caused the 2004-05 lockout
The glowing puck, did they get rid of that because it was easier to play defense? I think they took the non-hockey followers word too seriously and kind of ruined the game. I really think that's probably why the lockout happened.
PR 101 and Staying Classy
Dick Vitale had a bit of a moment on Twitter this week, accidentally tagging an account called @fuckyoupayfirst while trying to thank his fans. Instead of just letting it slide, Dickie V went into a full-scale panic, trying to convince the world he’s never seen a swear word in his life. Big Cat thinks Dickie V is actually wasting a golden opportunity to pivot his brand late in life.
Big CatDick Vitale should start a second career as a porn critic
Maybe if he [Dick Vitale] just became a full-on porn guy, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever. If he woke up in the morning and was like, 'here are my top five favorite porn picks for the day.' Wouldn't you just be like, that kind of fits for Dick Vitale?
Then there’s the matter of Nyquist. We officially bullied a horse off of Twitter. The Triple Crown hopeful's PR team deactivated the account because they couldn't handle the heat from the Barstool community. While some people are calling it "distasteful," Big Cat and PFT are hanging a banner for this one.
Big CatBullying the horse Nyquist off Twitter is a more impressive achievement than winning the Kentucky Derby
Nyquist the horse is a flash in the pan... No one's going to remember Nyquist the horse. Except for the fact that it got bullied off Twitter. That's actually more impressive than the Kentucky Derby. How many Kentucky Derby winners have there been? Like 120? How many horses have been bullied off Twitter?
Harambe and Jimbos
The Harambe updates continue as we reach day four of the vigil. PFT is starting to look at the conspiracy theories behind the gorilla's actions, wondering if Harambe was simply a victim of his environment in Cincinnati who saw a way out.
PFT CommenterHarambe the gorilla committed suicide by zookeeper to escape living in Cincinnati
Did Harambe like plan this whole thing out? When the kid fell in, do you think Harambe was like, this is my chance to finally get out of this fucking place... Like suicide by zookeeper is pretty much what I'm getting at here.
We wrapped up with Jimbos of the week, featuring a legendary story of a guy sending a "Bald Eagle" photo to his girlfriend’s father by mistake and a listener who flooded his entire apartment because he wanted to take a bath while blacked out. Big Cat even shared his own personal Jimbo involving CrossFit and the realization that his back is not as young as his heart believes it is.
Next time you're in a tough spot with a significant other, just remember Big Cat's golden rule for text communication.
Big CatAdd 'ha-ha' or 'LOL' to the end of any uncomfortable message to instantly spin the situation
I've always told you... if you just throw a ha-ha or an LOL at the end of every DM or text, you can always be like... 'Oh, I'm in.' It's just, yeah, we're just joking. Just add a ha-ha on everything whenever you get in a bad situation. See if you can just laugh your way out of it.
If that doesn't work, you're on your own.
