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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I can definitely hit a 35-yard field goal right now

I'd say when [the tryout] went good, not great. ... Mr. 35 Yards. ... I didn't do as bad as I was fearing that I was going to do. ... [Big Cat and Hank] would both make them on your first time [but] we would suck.

PFT later documented himself hitting kicks from this range in video footage from his XFL tryout journey.

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Void
Jan 17, 2020
#24393
Big CatBig Cat

Trevor Lawrence is overrated and played poorly in the National Championship game

Trevor Lawrence played like shit in the national championship game. Yeah. I had no idea. Overrated. 17 overthrows. There you go.

Lawrence struggled in the 2020 CFP National Championship, completing only 18 of 37 passes with no touchdowns, though 'overrated' remains a subjective career label.
Loss
Jan 17, 2020
#9804
Big CatBig Cat

The Chicago Cubs should be retroactively awarded the 2017 World Series because of the Astros and Dodgers cheating scandals

The other thing they should do is retroactively give the Cubs a 2017 World Series. So back-to-back, no big deal. We lost to the Dodgers and the Dodgers lost to the Astros. Cheaters, cheaters, cheaters. Just do the right thing.

The 2017 World Series title was never stripped or reassigned to the Cubs.
Void
Jan 17, 2020
#9805
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Sign stealing is the most American thing you can do

If we hadn't stolen signs in World War II, we'd all be speaking Japanese. Sign stealing is the most American thing someone can do.

This is a subjective historical and cultural comparison that cannot be objectively verified.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.