Trevor Lawrence is overrated and played poorly in the National Championship game

Trevor Lawrence played like shit in the national championship game. Yeah. I had no idea. Overrated. 17 overthrows. There you go.

The Chicago Cubs should be retroactively awarded the 2017 World Series because of the Astros and Dodgers cheating scandals

The other thing they should do is retroactively give the Cubs a 2017 World Series. So back-to-back, no big deal. We lost to the Dodgers and the Dodgers lost to the Astros. Cheaters, cheaters, cheaters. Just do the right thing.

Sign stealing is the most American thing you can do

If we hadn't stolen signs in World War II, we'd all be speaking Japanese. Sign stealing is the most American thing someone can do.

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.