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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I expect LeBron James to wait until at least the weekend to make his decision

I still think he's gonna wait until at least the weekend. There was that thing on YouTube where the Miami Heat said they had a placeholder for a news conference... announcing LeBron James for next Monday.

LeBron did indeed wait through the weekend.

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Loss
Jul 24, 2026
#31001
ZacZac

LeBron James will announce his free agency decision today

Today could be the day. We got a lot of hours left in this day. But I hear that around the league. They're saying like, pretty strong. Today's the day LeBron James makes a decision.

The decision was not actually announced on the day of the Takies; he waited longer.
Void
Jul 24, 2026
#31003
HankHank

Anthony Kim is the comeback story of the year in all of sports

Anthony Kim... probably comeback story of the Year overall in all of sports. Coming back, quit golf, went to rehab, conquered his demons. Came back, won on the LIV tour.

Subjective ranking of 'comeback story' status, but based on real-world events in the 2026 timeline.
Win
Jul 24, 2026·The Takies
#31019
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James is likely not returning to Cleveland because he would have already announced it if he was.

What this does tell me about about LeBron though. The fact that he hasn't announced it yet. Every day that goes by without an announcement makes me less inclined to think that it's Cleveland because he's waiting for something to make his decision. If his decision was go to Cleveland, then there's absolutely nothing holding him back from being like, I'm coming home... I think for the most part it's like, if it's Cleveland, he should have said it already.

LeBron James announced his free agency decision on July 24, 2026, the same day PFT Commenter made the take. He signed a two-year deal with the Philadelphia 76ers, not the Cleveland Cavaliers. This outcome aligns with PFT Commenter's prediction that LeBron was likely not returning to Cleveland because he would have already announced it if that were the case.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.