PMT DB
PMT DB
It is the most prestigious night in podcasting. Big Cat, PFT, and the rest of the crew gathered for the 2026 Takie Awards, a ceremony that somehow feels like it’s been around for both ten and eleven years depending on who is doing the math. While the sports world waits for a LeBron James decision that never seems to come, the Takies delivered high drama, celebrity presenters, and the most anticipated phone call in audio history.
LeBron Watch and the Big One
Before the awards even kicked off, Zac dropped a bombshell regarding the NBA's biggest star. While PFT remained skeptical of an immediate announcement, the pressure is mounting for the King to find a new home.
ZacLeBron James will announce his free agency decision today
Today could be the day. We got a lot of hours left in this day. But I hear that around the league. They're saying like, pretty strong. Today's the day LeBron James makes a decision.
PFT CommenterLeBron James is likely not returning to Cleveland because he would have already announced it if he was.
What this does tell me about about LeBron though. The fact that he hasn't announced it yet. Every day that goes by without an announcement makes me less inclined to think that it's Cleveland because he's waiting for something to make his decision. If his decision was go to Cleveland, then there's absolutely nothing holding him back from being like, I'm coming home... I think for the most part it's like, if it's Cleveland, he should have said it already.
The awards began with a deep look at the year’s most questionable insights. Victor Wembanyama found himself in the crosshairs for the 'Can’t Win the Big One' award, despite his generational talent. Big Cat pointed out that while he is racking up silver medals, the 'loser' narrative is starting to gain some serious steam.
Big CatVictor Wembanyama is on pace to be the greatest loser in professional sports history.
He's a great, he might, I'll say this, we might be the greatest loser we've ever seen. He absolutely could be the greatest loser we have ever seen in professional sports.
The Return of the Blakes
Blake of the Year remains the crown jewel of the program. This year, the competition between Blake Griffin, Blake Bortles, and Brooks Koepka (the non-Blake representative) was closer than ever. Brooks attempted to hijack the award by starting a rogue FaceTime five minutes before the actual contest began, but he ultimately failed to navigate the technology.
Brooks KoepkaI am a born loser and will never be good at anything.
Listen, I'm a born loser. I'll never be any good. Yeah. Just a born loser. Listen, gambling, anything. I'm a, I'm a born loser.
In a photo finish that required frame-by-frame analysis, Blake Bortles managed to join the Zoom link just a fraction of a second before Griffin. Bortles even upgraded his hotel WiFi specifically to secure the win, proving that the grind never stops for a true Blake.
Lib of the Year and Presidential Intervention
Jersey Jerry returned to defend his dynasty in the 'Lib of the Year' category. While he thought he was coming in for 'Bush of the Year' honors, he was met with a triple-threat of liberal accusations, ranging from his search history to his newfound acceptance of alternative lifestyles. The highlight of the entire show was a guest presenter message from President Joe Biden and Hunter Biden, which left Jerry absolutely stunned.
Jersey JerrySteve Jobs was forced to not take traditional medicine, which led to his death.
I don't wanna say the wrong thing. Allegedly, there's stories out there. Okay. Well, there is stories out there, but... allegedly, from what I've read, they didn't, they forced him to not take the medicine.
Preemptive Takes for 2027
The episode wrapped with the crew looking into their crystal balls for next year. From Arch Manning's potential power plays to the eventual collapse of the WNBA as we know it, nobody was holding back on their boldest predictions.
HankThe WNBA will split up and a new women's basketball league will form next year
My preemptive take of the Year is that the, there's gonna be a new women's basketball league. The WNBA's gonna split up. And a new league is gonna form. Players are gonna leave.
PFT CommenterArch Manning will refuse to play for whatever dysfunctional team picks him first overall
I think Arch Manning is gonna pull an Eli... Whatever team finishes with the worst record this year. Arch and his dad and his grandfather are gonna say, my boy's not playing there. He wants to go do a different organization.
Big CatLeBron James will suffer an injury and get caught golfing, leading people to question his love for basketball.
LeBron James... is gonna have an injury and then he is gonna be caught golfing with that injury and everyone's gonna be like, does he actually love the game anymore? ... So we'll take out the force to retire.
As 10 years of PMT history gets immortalized in their upcoming book, this year's Takies served as a reminder that as long as there are people being weird on the internet and athletes falling short of expectations, there will always be awards to give out.
Congrats to the award-winning listeners, we'll see you at the bachelor party.
