The Cowboys will win the NFC East if they beat the Eagles in Week 14

This is the week that if the Cowboys beat the Eagles, they have basically won the NFC East. And it will be very hard for them to lose it.

The Cowboys will find a way to fuck up their season despite their current success

If there's anything I know about the Cowboys, they'll find a way to fuck it all up.

The Ravens' defense is the first real test for the Chiefs' offense

The Ravens, this is the best team the Ravens are going to play in a while. ... this is the best defense the Chiefs have played in a while. So can the Chiefs play against a good defense in cold weather in December? This is my are-we-sure-they're-good game.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.