DC Defenders fans will break the world record for the longest cup snake at Audi Field this weekend

I'm challenging DC Defenders fans to get a cup snake that goes around the entire Stadium... they can break the world record which as most as I can tell is a hundred yards... it's going to happen. We're going to get the cup snake going around.

Coach K is entering his 'senile' phase where he has no filter and is constantly angry at the media

I think we're going to get into very soon, if we're not there already like the ornery like super angry at the media, just mad all the time [Coach K senile]. We're entering... the Twilight phase of Coach K having no filter and finally saying shit that he really is wanted to say for a very long time.

I refuse to consider the possibility of Tom Brady leaving the Patriots until it actually happens

I don't want to think about living in a world where Tom Brady isn't on the Patriots. I'm not going to consider it a possibility until it becomes a reality. So that is my official stance.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.