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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I stand in solidarity with Princeton students who oppose Marshawn Lynch speaking at graduation because of his history of disrespecting the media

I stand in solidarity with the Princeton students... Lynch's reticence with the media and its terse responses at press conferences... 2015 Super Bowl media day Lynch famously responded to multiple questions with variants of I'm just here so I won't get fined... thank you for taking a stand on behalf of all the capital Js out there.

This is a satirical take on media relations.

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Win
Mar 4, 2020
#27416
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

DC Defenders fans will break the world record for the longest cup snake at Audi Field this weekend

I'm challenging DC Defenders fans to get a cup snake that goes around the entire Stadium... they can break the world record which as most as I can tell is a hundred yards... it's going to happen. We're going to get the cup snake going around.

The DC Defenders fans did indeed create a massive cup snake that broke records and became a staple of the 2020 XFL season.
Void
Mar 4, 2020
#14453
Big CatBig Cat

Coach K is entering his 'senile' phase where he has no filter and is constantly angry at the media

I think we're going to get into very soon, if we're not there already like the ornery like super angry at the media, just mad all the time [Coach K senile]. We're entering... the Twilight phase of Coach K having no filter and finally saying shit that he really is wanted to say for a very long time.

This is a subjective characterization of a coach's career phase.
Loss
Mar 4, 2020
#14454
HankHank

I refuse to consider the possibility of Tom Brady leaving the Patriots until it actually happens

I don't want to think about living in a world where Tom Brady isn't on the Patriots. I'm not going to consider it a possibility until it becomes a reality. So that is my official stance.

Brady signed with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers just weeks later on March 20, 2020, making Hank's refusal to consider it a 'reality' a failed strategy of denial.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Knicks will probably win the series in five games or even sweep the Cavs

I still think that the, the Knicks are probably gonna win in five. They could even pull off the sweep. I guess the only real question we have for you, 'cause we already, we declared that the New York Knicks have won the series after game one. Correct.

The series is currently ongoing with the Knicks leading 2-0.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA should rebrand the 'granny shot' as the 'pimp grip' to encourage players to use it

Nobody, no player in the NBA wants to shoot a free throw granny style. But if it's pimp grip, that sounds pretty fucking cool. Listen, if it goes in, it doesn't matter. Like if he and he would, he actually probably get some endorsements from it.

This is a comedic suggestion and not a verifiable fact claim.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I want the Thunder to win so we can love Victor Wembanyama longer before the inevitable hate cycle starts

I know who I want to win. I want the Thunder to win this series. And the reason why I want the thunder to win this series is because I think if the thunder win, we get to restart the clock on how much longer we get to love Weby before we hate 'em. If the Spurs win this series and then they win their first championship and Weby dominates, we're gonna eventually hate Weby.

The outcome of the series is pending, and the 'hate cycle' is a subjective sociological prediction.