I really hope Big Ben shows up to training camp next year and claims he was joking about retiring

I really, really hope deep down. He just shows up to training camp next year. And he's like, what? Wait, what I was, I was just joking. Like I wasn't serious. I'm still [a] Steeler.

Big Ben benefited more from existing pre-social media than any other quarterback

Nobody benefited more from existing pre-social media than Big Ben. Yes. That is absolutely true.

Big Ben's 'retirement' is likely a ploy to see if the Steelers will beg him to come back

I think what Big Ben is doing now that I'm hearing all this is that I think he's essentially retiring. And then on the last day of work, he's going to walk out of the facility and he's going to do the thing, like... keep looking back like, oh, did you want me to do another? And hoping that someone says, 'Hey, Ben, we want you back.'

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.