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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jared Goff will win his first career game in cold weather against the Panthers

Jared Goff has never won a cold game. ... And I think this is the week that he does it. I think Jared slowly become like a Detroit guy.

The Lions lost to the Panthers 37-23 in Charlotte.

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Win
Dec 23, 2022
#13596
Big CatBig Cat

Zach Wilson is completely lost mentally and is likely irredeemable

Zach Wilson is so bad. ... he can't, I don't think he, he's redeemable at this point because you've now benched him twice for two different quarterbacks. ... I think Zach Wilson is completely lost. ... he's, he's completely lost mentally.

Wilson was benched for Chris Streveler in this game and later lost the starting job permanently as the Jets traded for Aaron Rodgers.
Win
Dec 23, 2022
#13597
Big CatBig Cat

The Jaguars are going to the playoffs

The Jaguars are going to the playoffs, like, I'm gonna say it right now, the Jaguars are going to the playoffs because they just went and they beat the Cowboys and the Jets back to back weeks... I think the Jaguars are going to the playoffs.

The Jaguars won the AFC South in Week 18 to make the playoffs.
Void
Dec 23, 2022
#13598
Billy FootballBilly Football

I could have made some of the throws Zach Wilson missed against the Jaguars

I was watching the fucking game and looking at concepts that I ran in high school that he was reading wrong. I'm serious. And I like my arm talent. It's not fucking pro arm talent, but I could have made some throws and just get it to guy to make play.

Billy is a former high school quarterback; comparing himself to an active NFL starter is inherently hyperbolic and subjective.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.