"Jason Pierre-Paul is injured because the game is literally called football, not handball" — PFT Commenter

Take Slip·Oct 8, 2015·Hurt or Injured

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Jason Pierre-Paul is injured because the game is literally called football, not handball

He's been sitting out the past couple of weeks with a blown up hand, really milking it. And the name of the game is literally football. How important is your hand? This isn't pinch ball or smoke a cigarette ball. And again, it makes sense that a guy who lost both his thumb and forefinger is out there missing snaps. So I'll give this one to him. I'm not happy about it. JPP is injured.

Opinion Football ScorchingSarcastic

PFT grudgingly concedes JPP, who lost fingers in a July 2015 fireworks accident, is legitimately injured. The literal verdict 'JPP is injured' is accurate.

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Loss

Take Slip·Oct 8, 2015·Monologue

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PFT Commenter

If you're PC police, you have to tell me — otherwise it's entrapment

If you're a PC police, you have to tell me. Otherwise, it's entrapment. I know my rights.

Fact Claim Life HotSarcastic

This is not how entrapment works. Satirizing the common misconception that undercover cops have to identify themselves, applied to 'PC police.'

Void

Take Slip·Oct 8, 2015·Monologue

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PFT Commenter

James Harrison was right to take away his son's participation trophy

He made some news last month when he rightfully stole his six-year-old son's participation trophy because he didn't feel that his son had earned it. And while Harrison was without a doubt correct in doing this, he didn't have to throw it all over the news to get a pat on the back from the national media just for doing the right thing that he's supposed to do.

Opinion Football Hot SubjectiveSarcastic

Harrison actually did this in August 2015 and it was widely debated. Whether he was right is a matter of opinion.

Void

Take Slip·Oct 8, 2015·Monologue

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PFT Commenter

The Steelers are a team that conducts business the right way

Overall, the Steelers are their team that conducts business the right way. In fact, I think it was team owner Art Rooney that pulled Harrison aside and really backed him up back in 2008 when Harrison got arrested for domestic assault. Of course, I'm not here to condone domestic assault, but you have to look at the facts and wait for all the facts to come out.

Opinion Football Fire SubjectiveSarcastic

Heavy sarcasm. Praising the Steelers' culture while referencing Harrison's 2008 domestic assault arrest to satirize the 'they do things the right way' narrative.