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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jason Pierre-Paul is injured because the game is literally called football, not handball

He's been sitting out the past couple of weeks with a blown up hand, really milking it. And the name of the game is literally football. How important is your hand? This isn't pinch ball or smoke a cigarette ball. And again, it makes sense that a guy who lost both his thumb and forefinger is out there missing snaps. So I'll give this one to him. I'm not happy about it. JPP is injured.

PFT grudgingly concedes JPP, who lost fingers in a July 2015 fireworks accident, is legitimately injured. The literal verdict 'JPP is injured' is accurate.

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Loss
Oct 8, 2015·Monologue
#20450
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If you're PC police, you have to tell me — otherwise it's entrapment

If you're a PC police, you have to tell me. Otherwise, it's entrapment. I know my rights.

This is not how entrapment works. Satirizing the common misconception that undercover cops have to identify themselves, applied to 'PC police.'
Void
Oct 8, 2015·Monologue
#20451
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

James Harrison was right to take away his son's participation trophy

He made some news last month when he rightfully stole his six-year-old son's participation trophy because he didn't feel that his son had earned it. And while Harrison was without a doubt correct in doing this, he didn't have to throw it all over the news to get a pat on the back from the national media just for doing the right thing that he's supposed to do.

Harrison actually did this in August 2015 and it was widely debated. Whether he was right is a matter of opinion.
Void
Oct 8, 2015·Monologue
#20452
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Steelers are a team that conducts business the right way

Overall, the Steelers are their team that conducts business the right way. In fact, I think it was team owner Art Rooney that pulled Harrison aside and really backed him up back in 2008 when Harrison got arrested for domestic assault. Of course, I'm not here to condone domestic assault, but you have to look at the facts and wait for all the facts to come out.

Heavy sarcasm. Praising the Steelers' culture while referencing Harrison's 2008 domestic assault arrest to satirize the 'they do things the right way' narrative.

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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I want the Thunder to win the Western Conference Finals so I don't have to start hating Victor Wembanyama yet

I kind of want the thunder to win because I'm not ready to start the clock on when I have to start hating the Spurs again.

Personal preference of the speaker.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Success for the USMNT is defined as winning at least one elimination game

The very, very bottom line for what we could consider to be success I would say is if we win one elimination game, okay. That would be okay. Reaching the quarter finals. That's okay. That's what success is for this team.

Outcome of upcoming tournament is unknown.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

West Ham will finish in the top 10 of the EPL table next year because of season-ending momentum.

I expect West Ham, my Hammers to finish in the top 10 of the table next year. English soccer fans don't understand sports. They don't get momentum. And winning your last game of the season three nil, you're gonna have all the momentum going into next year in the EPL.

The 2026-27 EPL season results will determine if West Ham finishes in the top 10.