I want to be replaced by a parrot if I die in Cleveland

If I do die in Cleveland... I want a parrot... play old episodes of Pardon My Take for the parrot... put it in front of a microphone and you talk to it and it'll just basically do the same shitty takes that we've done for the past three months. Nobody will even know that it's not me anymore.

Phil Mickelson is the first person with a recessive clutch gene

Phil [Mickelson] has a clutch gene because he's won a championship, but I think he might be the first person with a recessive clutch gene. You know how a redhead... you'll blow the redhead that pops up in your family. He's got the recessive clutch gene because he so often finishes second.

Phil Mickelson choked away another major championship

Anytime you got Phil [Mickelson] finishing in second, the storyline is Phil Mickelson choked away another one. Let's focus where it needs to be because it's always fun to make fun of Phil for being always the bridesmaid, never the bride guy.

Duke would have won the National Championship by 50 points if they had reached the final.

I think if Duke plays in the championship game, they win by 50. Easily. That was a wasted opportunity.

Michigan is already the favorite to win the National Championship again next season.

Michigan I think is right now the favorites to win next season. Tough to win back to back, but he has to hit the portal. He has to be active... which he already is.

College basketball is now 'pay to win' and that's unsustainable

It's a pay to win tournament. Like basketball is ruined. Unsustainable. Yeah, that's the new word that I keep hearing.