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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James is dead and Steph Curry murdered him

LeBron James is dead. D-E-D. Dead. Steph Curry murdered him. Kyrie backstabbed him, went behind his back. Very Shakespearean, this whole thing.

The statement is metaphorical; LeBron James is physically alive and remained the top player in the league for years following this.

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Loss
Jul 31, 2017
#26438
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Ravens team president is named Dick Gass

I was reading an article about [the Ravens], and I forgot the team president's name is Dick Gass. Dick Cass, but it's Dick Gass.

His name is Dick Cass, not Dick Gass.
Void
Jul 31, 2017
#26435
Big CatBig Cat

The NBA offseason is currently better than Game of Thrones

LeBron James, the NBA offseason has now become, I hate to be the guy who's like the offseason is better than the real season, but it's making a run for its money because it's better than Game of Thrones.

Subjective comparison between a sports league's news cycle and a TV show.
Void
Jul 31, 2017
#26436
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James is definitely the alpha over Steph Curry

You could tell that Steph Curry... practiced that [impression] in front of a mirror a lot. Like, he's so deep into Steph Curry's head. LeBron James is definitely the alpha in this situation.

Subjective assessment of player dynamics and psychological 'alpha' status.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.