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Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Major League Baseball should arm umpires with tasers to defend themselves against players.

What if we just gave tasers to umps? Oh my god. Yes, let's arm umpires. Yes. I'm 100% on board with arming umpires. ... We need to start arming them so they can defend themselves.

This is a satirical policy proposal that has not been implemented.

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Loss
Aug 21, 2017
#28504
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The sun is a total fraud and completely overrated.

Basically, what I've discovered is that the sun is overrated. Fraud. Hot fraud. Cold fraud. The sun is flat. Everybody knows it.

The sun is objectively not flat and is generally considered essential for life, making the 'fraud' label factually incorrect but comedically great.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Laughter is a universal language that predates spoken word.

How is how does everyone have laugh and as like the universal, like we're having fun. ... You speak Portuguese, you speak, you know, whatever, Taiwanese or whatever, but you both laugh when you're having fun? ... I think laughter came before language, I believe.

This is a subject of actual scientific debate, but generally accepted that non-verbal vocalizations like laughter are evolutionarily older than complex syntax.
Void
Aug 21, 2017·Mt. Rushmore
#1156
Big CatBig Cat

I would give away five to ten years of my life to guarantee Wi-Fi on every plane flight.

Nothing worse in the world than being on a plane with no Wi-Fi and no TVs. I would give away five to ten years of my life to make sure that I had Wi-Fi on a plane all the time.

Subjective value judgment on the worth of one's own lifespan vs. internet access.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The overturning of Folarin Balogun's suspension is the smallest piece of justice the United States has ever received from FIFA

The United States has never benefited from FIFA's corruption before, and it feels like we've been left out of that party. If this is our taste of the corruption, and all the corruption is just overturning a suspension that should never have been given in the first place... it's the smallest piece of justice that the United States could ever get from FIFA.

The USMNT did successfully have Balogun's suspension rescinded during the 2026 World Cup.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The sensor chips inside soccer balls are bullshit and not perfectly aligned with the cameras

I'm so deep into this chip in the ball thing, I've become convinced that it's all bullshit. The sensors, yes, they're there and yes, they pick up on stuff, but there's no chance that it is perfectly aligned with the 50 cameras that are running concurrently in the stadium on live TV at any given time.

This is a subjective claim about technical precision, though PFT expresses strong doubt.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Brandon Aiyuk is in a bad space mentally and will not be signing with the Washington Commanders.

The Washington Commanders have released Brandon [Aiyuk] today from the contract that he didn't sign with us and was never going to sign. Things got kind of weird over the weekend. So [Aiyuk] was saying like talking shit about Jayden's mom... I think that should probably put an end to the Brandon [Aiyuk] to the Commanders rumors. But I was never really on board for it, it's been weird for quite some time with Brandon. I hope he gets whatever help he needs. It doesn't seem like he's in a good space mentally. And it seems like even his best oldest friends have tried to help him and he just burns those bridges too.

Subjective opinion on Aiyuk's mental state and burned bridges, plus a prediction about not going to the Commanders.