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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Minor league teams should hold a 'Coke Night' promotion featuring cocaine-themed relay races

Minor league teams like to have fun with all sorts of wacky promotion nights, right? Why not have a Coke night? ... You give the mascot a vacuum, you give the little kid a vacuum, and then you see who can suck up the foul line the fastest on the way out to the outfield.

This is a satirical suggestion for a marketing promotion.

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Apr 7, 2017
#7876
Big CatBig Cat

Dustin Johnson should have followed the Tiger Woods handbook and winced his way through a few holes before withdrawing

In true Tiger Woods fashion, [Dustin Johnson] should have winced and keeled over, hit a couple shots. Maybe see if he gets like a birdie to start and then keep playing. And if not, then quit and withdraw. That's the Tiger Woods handbook.

This is a subjective opinion on how a player should handle an injury for maximum 'grit' points.
Void
Apr 7, 2017
#22527
Big CatBig Cat

Something is fishy about Dustin Johnson's staircase injury

Dustin Johnson, allegedly fell down a staircase with socks on. We got some tips on what exactly happened because we all agree we don't buy it, right? There's something fishy going on here.

While there were many rumors (suspensions, fights), the official story remains a fall down the stairs. It remains an unproven conspiracy.
Void
Apr 7, 2017
#7878
Big CatBig Cat

Pimento cheese sandwiches at the Masters are probably overrated

I know what a pimento cheese sandwich is, but I'm guessing that it's not as unbelievable as everyone's making it off to be.

The quality of a sandwich is inherently subjective.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chiefs' window never closed

I don't think we ever actually closed the Chiefs' window. I think Mahomes was just in bed because he was injured, far away from the window.

The Chiefs' long-term contention status is ultimately subjective, though their dynasty remained active at the time of the episode.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Mahomes will be back to himself by season's end

By the end of this season, Mahomes is gonna be back to being Mahomes.

Whether Mahomes returned to his established level by the end of the 2026 NFL season had not yet been resolved.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Oregon loss could turn Dan Lanning into a psychopath

I don't think that Dan Lanning has slept since that loss. I think Dan Lanning has turned into an absolute psycho because of this loss. He's sick. It actually might be a dangerous thing for the rest of the Big Ten that Oregon lost that game.

Whether the loss made Oregon more dangerous over the rest of the season is a future, testable team-performance claim.