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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Razors in Halloween candy is a total myth

That's fake news. That never happens. You hear it every year, and you're like, parents, be careful... That's not true. There's nobody out there that's ever done the razor trick, in my opinion.

Sociological research into 'Halloween sadism' shows almost all reports of poisoned or tampered candy from strangers are urban legends or hoaxes.

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Void
Oct 30, 2017
#7821
Big CatBig Cat

NFL catch rules are bullshit after the Zach Miller non-touchdown

I am still so fucking mad about Zach Miller and that catch that wasn't a catch that was a catch. And I know, I know that this is, you know, the Calvin Johnson rule... but this is fucking bullshit. And it's the reason why, even though I love sports, I hate sports... I was that mad that Zach Miller broke his leg for nothing.

This is a subjective opinion on the quality of NFL rules, though the play is widely cited as one of the worst applications of the catch rule.
Win
Oct 30, 2017
#7820
Big CatBig Cat

The Eagles are the team to beat in the NFL

I'm crossing off the 49ers while simultaneously in ink, circling the Eagles and saying they might be the team to beat.

The 2017 Eagles finished 13-3 and won Super Bowl LII.
Loss
Oct 30, 2017
#27178
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A Vikings vs. Eagles NFC Championship would result in nuclear war

If it's the [Vikings] and the Eagles in the NFC Championship game, that's when the nuclear war is going to happen... They're never going to get experience joy.

The Vikings and Eagles did play in the 2017 NFC Championship Game. The world did not end in nuclear war, though the Eagles won 38-7.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.