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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Sepp Blatter's acquittal proves FIFA is not a corrupt organization

Anyone that was pointing a finger at Sepp Blatter and saying that FIFA is corrupt... Guess what? You're wrong. He's been officially cleared. FIFA. It turns out, plot twist, not corrupt. Everything's above board in FIFA.

This is a literal statement of fact regarding the court ruling used to support a satirical conclusion about the organization's character.

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Loss
Mar 26, 2025
#17547
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Hammocks are more afraid of you than you are of them

Hammocks are more afraid of you than you are of them. My take is that that's a fact. Some of us aren't pussies and it's extreme sports. It's like extreme sleeping. Big Mattress is trying to steer you away from hammocks. Anytime somebody dies in a hammock, it becomes a big news story like a shark attack.

The claim that hammocks are 'more afraid of you' is metaphorical/satirical and the safety comparison to bears is hyperbolic for comedic effect.
Void
Mar 26, 2025
#23615
Big CatBig Cat

Dan Hurley being an asshole is good for college basketball

If your job is to talk about sports, I want more Dan Hurleys. I don't want people giving cliche answers. I want guys who have some type of personality that is not just, you know, 'we're gonna do our best out there.' Saying he's bad for the sport is just stupid to me.

Whether a coach is 'good for the sport' is subjective and depends on if you value entertainment/intensity over traditional sportsmanship.
Void
Mar 26, 2025
#17549
Big CatBig Cat

Sportsmanship should stop at the Little League level

The sportsmanship stops at Little League. That's really what it is. Like when people are like, oh, you gotta win class. You gotta do the—that shit is not for high level college basketball, high level pro sports. I don't care. I want bad losers. I want people who are, who crash out when they lose.

This is an inherently subjective philosophy on sports culture.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Knicks will probably win the series in five games or even sweep the Cavs

I still think that the, the Knicks are probably gonna win in five. They could even pull off the sweep. I guess the only real question we have for you, 'cause we already, we declared that the New York Knicks have won the series after game one. Correct.

The series is currently ongoing with the Knicks leading 2-0.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA should rebrand the 'granny shot' as the 'pimp grip' to encourage players to use it

Nobody, no player in the NBA wants to shoot a free throw granny style. But if it's pimp grip, that sounds pretty fucking cool. Listen, if it goes in, it doesn't matter. Like if he and he would, he actually probably get some endorsements from it.

This is a comedic suggestion and not a verifiable fact claim.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I want the Thunder to win so we can love Victor Wembanyama longer before the inevitable hate cycle starts

I know who I want to win. I want the Thunder to win this series. And the reason why I want the thunder to win this series is because I think if the thunder win, we get to restart the clock on how much longer we get to love Weby before we hate 'em. If the Spurs win this series and then they win their first championship and Weby dominates, we're gonna eventually hate Weby.

The outcome of the series is pending, and the 'hate cycle' is a subjective sociological prediction.