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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Shooting 'granny style' should be rebranded to 'pimp grip' to make it cooler for NBA players

I think the problem is that it's called granny style because nobody wants to shoot it with that name. If it was like pimp grip or like called baller style or something like that, I feel like more people would try it.

The name 'granny style' is indeed a deterrent, though rebranding it 'pimp grip' likely wouldn't be the official NBA solution.

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Push
Dec 30, 2016
#27155
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I'm the reason people like Joe Buck now

two-time Joe Buck, who people like him now because of us, I'm just gonna say it.

While Joe Buck's popularity did see a resurgence around this time, attributing it solely to PMT is a classic host exaggeration.
Win
Dec 30, 2016
#9933
Big CatBig Cat

Pardon My Take is responsible for making punting cool again

Did we bring punting back? Yeah, we made punting cool again. I've seen it everywhere since Punt Week. Ooh, punters this, punters that. These punters, they're so cool.

PMT definitely played a huge role in the 'Punters are People Too' and punter-celebrity culture in the mid-2010s.
Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The only way to avoid male pattern baldness is to murder your grandfather before he loses his hair

Yeah, the only way to not inherit male pattern baldness from your mom's father is if you murder him before he goes bald.

Biologically, murdering someone does not change the genetic traits you have already inherited from them.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.