If the Dallas Cowboys win the Super Bowl, I will get a cat

I am here right now on Friday the 13th, ready to declare that if the Dallas Cowboys win the Super Bowl, I will get a cat.

Tony Romo has become annoying and fans will officially turn against him during these playoffs

Tony Romo has gotten so much more annoying and his noises and his stepping on Jim Nance. I actually think Jim Nance doesn't really like him anymore. And I think it's gonna prove true in these playoffs. I guarantee you that people are gonna start shifting to our side in these 2022-2023 playoffs.

The Bills will blow out the Dolphins because Miami cannot score more than 13 points with Skylar Thompson

I would take the Bills even if they were like minus 17 at this point. Skylar Thompson is playing... I don't know how they score more than, let's say 13 points. It's gonna be an ass kicking. It's gonna be a whomping. The Dolphins with Tua scored 25 and a half points a game; without, they've scored 16.3. The Bills get to 30, we cover the spread.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.