Quitting your job before March Madness is the best feeling in the world

It is the best two days of the year to call in sick for work, bar none. I had some friends, and back like six or seven years ago, we would all quit our jobs in anticipation of March Madness so that we just wouldn't have to worry about going into work... it feels like you're on heroin because it's such a reckless thing to do for like this little bit of endorphin payout.

There is no better high in the world than getting to cancel plans

The canceled plans, when I get to cancel a plan, there is no better high in the entire world. Actually, no. I should take that back. When someone else cancels plans on me because I never want to do anything anymore. So when they cancel plans on me, then I'm not the shithead who canceled the plans. That's the best feeling in the world.

We need a 'relegation league' Monday night football game to help people transition off the March Madness high

This is how you wean people off March Madness is if we just had like a Monday night football game on Monday night, like if it was just Titans Jaguars on Monday night, the relegation league... You need sports that your body is craving it. Boom. Football's back.

The 2026 World Cup final was boring and sucked.

It was boring ass soccer. It sucked. It made me thankful that the World Cup's over, that football's back. Now we can get back into real football, which I'm very, very thankful for. But that was actually, I think that was the best way to end the World Cup, because I'm totally fine with no more soccer now.

Fanatics Fest is a cynical place designed only to take money from fans.

It also seems like the most cynical place ever. Like, you can go to an autograph festival or a fan festival and you know that the guys are being paid to be there. And they're still like, happy to see, interact with you, all that shit. It just seems like every single thing about being at that place is just designed to take money from the people that are there.

Bryson DeChambeau is being targeted by selective rule enforcement.

I think that Bryson definitely did it and it's definitely against the rules. And he got caught for it and they enforced it against him because he's a bad boy. He's had some run-ins before. I don't think the R&A or whatever, I don't think they're particularly happy with Bryson right now.