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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Taking acid is dangerous; freshmen should stick to binge drinking

But I'm just going to say, for the record, taking acid is very dangerous. Stick to safe things, like binge drinking your freshman year.

Binge drinking is medically classified as dangerous, making this advice ironically 'incorrect' despite its satirical intent.

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Jun 23, 2017
#11363
Big CatBig Cat

Bulls front office members Gar Foreman and John Paxson remain fuckheads

Gar Foreman and John Paxson remain fuckheads. [The Bulls season] never even began, but yes, it is over. They're dead... I don't trust these guys to actually rebuild correctly. I mean, you got fucking trainers saying that they're worse than drug dealers.

The Bulls failed to rebuild successfully under this regime, eventually firing them years later after continued mediocrity.
Loss
Jun 23, 2017
#11364
Big CatBig Cat

Lauri Markkanen is a bum who is soft and sucks

I find out they drafted... Lauri Markkanen from Arizona. I am now going to sell myself on this guy, which is going to be the greatest spin zone of all time, because we went to the Pac-12 championship game, and I think we said multiple times, this guy fucking sucks. He's a bum. He's soft.

Lauri Markkanen went on to be an All-Star and won Most Improved Player in 2023, proving he does not 'suck.'
Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LaVar Ball will be doing work for the WWE within two years

Within two years, [LaVar Ball] is going to be doing stuff for WWE. He is that good at being the heel. Like, he was yelling at the reporter for not holding the microphone close enough to his face.

LaVar Ball appeared on WWE Raw just days later on June 26, 2017, for a segment with The Miz.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Knicks will probably win the series in five games or even sweep the Cavs

I still think that the, the Knicks are probably gonna win in five. They could even pull off the sweep. I guess the only real question we have for you, 'cause we already, we declared that the New York Knicks have won the series after game one. Correct.

The series is currently ongoing with the Knicks leading 2-0.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA should rebrand the 'granny shot' as the 'pimp grip' to encourage players to use it

Nobody, no player in the NBA wants to shoot a free throw granny style. But if it's pimp grip, that sounds pretty fucking cool. Listen, if it goes in, it doesn't matter. Like if he and he would, he actually probably get some endorsements from it.

This is a comedic suggestion and not a verifiable fact claim.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I want the Thunder to win so we can love Victor Wembanyama longer before the inevitable hate cycle starts

I know who I want to win. I want the Thunder to win this series. And the reason why I want the thunder to win this series is because I think if the thunder win, we get to restart the clock on how much longer we get to love Weby before we hate 'em. If the Spurs win this series and then they win their first championship and Weby dominates, we're gonna eventually hate Weby.

The outcome of the series is pending, and the 'hate cycle' is a subjective sociological prediction.