The Saturday Final Four games will go under because players can't shoot in the NRG Stadium dome

I told everyone i think two days ago the unders are going to come in on saturday no one can shoot in the houston [NRG] something or other dome. So take the unders.

April Fool's jokes are only for women and corporations

I feel like April Fool's jokes are for chicks. Let's be honest. It's for chicks and also like corporations. It's really it's a holiday for girls and for brands. That's about it.

NFL locker room drama like the D'Angelo Russell leak would stay in-house because the culprit would get beaten up

Honestly, I think the difference between basketball guys and football guys is that you would never even hear a story like this come out. And if it did come out, it would be kept in-house and somebody would get their shit kicked in. And then it would kind of be like, let's move on.

England will beat the Netherlands and then lose a heartbreaking match to Argentina

I think England's gonna win this weekend. And then you'll have the realization that it might not actually be coming home after all... losing to Argentina at that stage, that would be the most heartbreaking loss they could possibly have.

Christian Pulisic is clearly not and cannot be the face of US soccer

I'm just sick of relying on him [Pulisic] to be the face of US soccer because it can't be, it's so clear that he's not.

The 4-1 loss to Belgium was the worst USMNT performance in years

That was the worst performance from the US that I've seen in years. Just completely lackluster from the start. So much blame to go around. Tim Ream, friend of the program, good guy over the hill, turned into soccer Shawn Bradley before our very eyes got dunked on twice.